Question:
I am 23-years old and have been married for 5 months. About three weeks ago my husband had an affair with a man. I didn’t know what had happened. He just dissapeared for four days, then came home and told me that he was gay. He told me the whole story and who the man was. We are still together because I didn’t know what to do. We need help but I haven’t been able to find anyone who can help us. Our minister at church has been looking for help as well but comming up short. I need help and support, please help me. If you have any information please let me know.
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Answer:
There are 2 issues at hand. First of all, your husband was unfaithful to you. Secondly, your husband has declared that he is gay. Oftentimes, being cheated on is difficult enough to deal with in a marriage, but the feelings associated with being told that your husband is not attracted to your sex brings about even more questions. Try clicking to the PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) web site. It may provide you with some information or links to the help you are seeking. The site is located at http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/index.html. Best of luck to you in finding some relief in your matter. Take care, – Anne
- Ask Anne
