Lying Friend

Question:

I want to know what my friend suffers. he is constantly lying for no reason. Just to impress people. When you confront him about it , he admits it and tells you that there is no harm in lying if it makes someone happy. He drinks and does drugs but only for attention. He is prepared to do anything as long as he gets attention. His views and opinions on matters are different to every one else’s only because it makes people stop and question him and likes that. He promises every girl the same things and feeds them stories which will make them feel sorry for him. It’s like he wants to live a life of tragedy and distress. He can’t stop talking about himself. It’s always how he has been there and done that. He has interests in all aspects of life just so people will think he is all that. Is he suffering from something or is this normal for a 23 year old guy!!

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Answer:

No, this is not normal behavior for a 23 year old guy (or a guy at any age). There is no formal term for what you are witnessing (at least not one I’m aware of), but it is definitely abnormal behavior. My best guess would be that this would fall in the “personality disorder” type category. This sort of chronic lying to please others would involve problems with identity and self-esteem and an odd sort of antisocial behavior and perhaps dependence all mixed together. It would probably benefit him to establish an ongoing relationship with a good (e.g., experienced and no-nonsense) therapist if one was available, but somehow I don’t picture him as being particularly motivated to go in that direction. I hope I’m wrong. Good Luck.

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