Question:
I am a close friend of a homosexual and transvestite living as a woman. While I’m a straight man, I am not a homophobe, but I must confess an ignorance as to how to be supportive (a good fiend) to this person. In addition, some of her behavior is increasingly inappropriate, but any time I voice this she responds in an overly emotional fashion and accuses me of just thinking of her as a freak and not caring about her, which is untrue. My family is unaware that this person is anatomically male, and would undoubtedly react badly (if not violently) if they were aware of this. I strongly suspect that she is taking female hormones which may (in part) be responsible for some of her more bizarre behavior. I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do. I do not know how to deal with her and this issue.
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Answer:
First, what you need to do is to find out more about homosexuality. Ask her about it and tell her you do not understand it. I’m sure she would be willing to tell you about it if you listened. She would probably be pleased to hear that you truly want to know more about her lifestyle. How long has it been since she discovered her true sexuality? Maybe she is not quite comfortable with it yet, or for that matter, you knowing makes her feel uncomfortable with it. Give her time. Your best bet is to just tell her how you feel and discuss it with her. And as for your family, don’t tell them. Do they really need to know? I’m guessing that they wouldn’t understand and would make inappropriate judgements about her. I would wait a little bit on the family problem until you resolve your friend’s issue first. Maybe further down the line you can tell them. As for the hormones she is taking, find out more about it. What are the side effects, etc. If you really want to make things work with your friend, you need to understand everything about her. It seems she needs a friend more than anything. Be there for her. It may be tough, but hang in there. Sincerely, – Anne
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